Discipline

Since beginning my study of karate over 5 years ago, I have had occasion to think about discipline in new ways. I’ve always chafed under authority, and here I am practising an art that requires something along the lines of obedience. Respect and courtesy are hugely important in Japanese culture, whereas Americans are known for being free spirited, possibly even rude and boorish. I have found that, just as I benefit physically from the exercise karate offers, my mind has benefited in many ways, not the least of which is that I can go onto the deck and try to turn off the part of my mind that questions authority- ideally, performing the choreographed series of offensive and defensive moves that make up the kata of karate is a form of “moving meditation”, and we can focus on it so completely that kata takes over and we in essence “become” the kata..

It isn’t that I accept everything I’m taught in karate without questioning it – it’s important to know what the moves are for and sometimes one is told to do things a certain way for a certain reason, but the moves and the reasoning are sometimes open to interpretation. But one of the challenges in karate, as well as in life, is to know when to let go and focus on one’s own training, not on what other people might be doing on the deck, how other people might be choosing to interpret kata, or courtesy, or focus, or any of the other components of the art or of life. Who is being asked to test for their next rank? Does that person deserve it? Have they been training as often as the rest of us? Is their technique good enough?

Whenever my mind starts going in that direction, I have to pull it back and remind myself that I really don’t “get it” when I allow myself those thoughts, and that part of the discipline and focus of this art is to turn inward and do the best I can to improve my practise of it, to help other people when it’s appropriate (e.g., if I’m conducting the class), and to otherwise ignore what other people are doing. A friend of mine who is now a second-degree black belt told me that although she used to get worked up about some of these things, she now tries not even to have the negative thoughts. That made a big impression on me. It’s a good aspiration for karate and for what happens to you every day on the street. It’s also helpful for voice-over and any kind of art or life work that requires you to offer your work up for criticism and rejection. Every day you send out emails or make telephone calls and attend auditions or record auditions at your own studio. All too often you get no response at all, and if your mind is overly active and you have a tendency to analyse everything to the hilt, you can overindulge in speculating about why. Why did that producer contact me personally for a custom read ASAP and then never even acknowledge my response, let alone hire me? Would I get more answers to my marketing queries if I timed them differently? Maybe I should have interpreted the copy differently. Maybe I was slightly too emotional when I should have gone for calm authority. Maybe I would have gotten the gig if I hadn’t had that cup of cocoa for breakfast. Maybe...

Enough already. Let it go. No, it isn’t easy, but it’s essential if one is to keep one’s balance and achieve a life of serenity and happiness. Clear negative thoughts from one’s mind so that the good thoughts have more room to grow. Keep them out of conversations with other people. Okay, maybe I’ll have to rush into a closet and shriek for a minute every so often to get it out of my system, but maybe after a while I won’t even need that. I want to be happy and I want the people around me to be happy too. Negative thoughts bring civilisation down. Can’t have that. I would like to have the discipline to do my life’s work to the best of my ability, to take direction where appropriate, and to move on when my goals don’t match those of the people on intersecting paths.

I'll report back in a few months, if I'm not too embarrassed about it.

Artwork by Christine O'Hara